A foundation of secrets
by The Bickering Kingdom
Summary: Written for round 9 for the QLC. Bellatrix has many secrets, some are her own and some belong to others.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

**Written for round 9 of the QLC.**

**BEATER 2: Write about your character/ pairing holding something back.**

**Chosen Prompts: 2. (word) Bustling &amp; 13\. (restriction) No using the word 'Hogwarts'.**

**Also written for the Plot Bunnies HQ Monthly Challenge. **

**Prompt 1 "I do not want or need your approval," (this prompt to be used in a conversation).**

**Prompt 2 Days (word)**

**Prompt 3 Jump or Jumped **

**Prompt 4 Candle (word).**

**Bellatrix's P.O.V**

The Manors are all the same;the Lestranges, the Malfoys, the Blacks. Yes, there were a few things that made them seem different one from another, but in the end they are the same.

But no one else notices that their houses are the same. They never notice that they look or act the same.

I stand here now in Lestrange Manor, the room is bustling with people. The men stand the same, clutched together in groups swirling fire whiskey round their glasses.

The women are divided into two groups, those who are pregnant and those who are trying to get pregnant.

And then there is me. I skulk in the corner as if I am a stranger in my home, but Rodolphus looks at ease as he takes a sip from his glass.

There is a part of me that wants to stand in the middle of the room and scream until my lungs feel as if they're burning, but I won't.

I doubt if anybody would take much notice anyway, six months I have been going to the Dark Lord to train to become a death eater and my husband has not noticed my absence once.

I am the first person the Dark Lord has taken under his wing to teach, it is a great honor and yet I hide his tutelage.

I have not even told my sister, Narcissa, and ever since we were children I have told her everything. But for some reason foreign even to myself I have concealed and continue to hide our lessons, our conversations and me eventually getting the dark mark.

I can see my sister acting shocked and disproving of the things I done and the things that I plan to do. She has never had the heart for war, her heart is that of a wife and mother.

I look at her now at Lucius's side, staring wistfully at the pregnant women in the room and I know she wishes it was her who was pregnant.

At least she has the hope of getting pregnant, I cannot have children. Another thing I have kept from my sister and my husband.

It's odd really, I haven't gone out of my way to keep secrets and yet they seem to be piling up around me.

My voice sounds odd in my head. Does everybody's voice sound odd in their own head?.

"Are you going to stand there all night or are you going to mingle?," Rodolphus whispered, from behind me and making me jump. I hadn't heard him creep up behind me, I really need to start being more alert.

"I am quite content not to mingle thank you," I hiss, my voice cold and clipped. I am angry at my husband and I do not know why.

Rodolphus's face becomes a mask of coldness, "If you acted more like the hostess and the wife you were supposed to I'd approve of your rebellious attitude that peaks its ugly head every once in a while." Rodolphus tells me calmly, but I can hear the traces anger that he works so hard to hide.

"I do not want or need your approval. Now kindly leave me alone and go fawn over our guests," my tone must show that I am in no mood to argue because Rodolphus walks away without saying anything.

Our marriage is very volatile at the best of times. I never wanted to marry him, this is one thing I've never kept secret from him.

But lately there are so many things that I keep hidden and sometimes I fear that those things are going to consume me.

There are tiny things such as I accidentally broke a vase that is a Lestrange heirloom and then there are big things like that currently sitting in the Lestrange vault is the Hufflepuff cup that's been lost for a while.

Rodolphus has no idea that it is there, the Dark Lord said the less he knows the better.

The Dark Lord doesn't think I know what it is, but I do. I was born into the house of Black I was practically breastfed the Dark Arts.

The day I am not able to recognize a Horcrux I'll denounce myself as Pureblood. Just because I wouldn't dare make a Horcrux I was still trained to spot one. My father spent hours making sure I could.

Knowing the Dark Lord has at least one Horcrux is another secret I keep.

Some days it feel as if am a candle, but instead of being made of wax I am made secrets. Some mine and some are others, but wax melts and the secrets don' stay solid and strong inside my mind.

I can't believe I just compared myself to a candle. Well I suppose there are worse things I could have compared myself to.

I can't think of anything right this second, but I am sure there are worse things.

Maybe I should start introducing myself as "I'm Bellatrix, I'm a candle. ". I doubt anybody would find it amusing and even if they did, none of would laugh out fear of being different to the others.

But I can say in my head, "I am Bellatrix. I am a candle. I am the secret keeper."


End file.
